Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Either Rename the Entire NFC East or Leave the Redskins Alone

16GB?! How can I tweet
about the Redskins
changing their name
on 16GB iPhone?!
Talk about first world problems.

Every few years PC zealots along with their comrades in the media renew their campaign against my beloved Washington Redskins. The misplaced mania continues despite the fact that many actual Native Americans, such as Cherokee Mark Thornton, are honored by the name:

"It is my opinion that mascot and other uses of Native American tribe names, terms, etc., causes the world to acknowledge and respect us. The use of these Native American names for our weapons systems, mascots and products brings honor and recognition to Native Americans."

And the Redskins have already settled the matter legally when the Supreme Court protected the team's trademark on the name in 2009.

And I'm sure the name-change crusaders don't know that team owner George Preston Marshall changed the name of the team to the "Redskins" in 1933 to honor it's Native American head coach William "Lone Star" Dietz of the Sioux Nation.

But let's get really PC about this. The name "Redskins" honors a people who were greatly oppressed and marginalized, right? But who were the oppressors? That's right: the Cowboys. Ever heard of the game "Cowboys and Indians"? No kid wants to be the Indian because the Indians always lose. That's how deeply Western colonialism has been ingrained in our society! And we actually allow a football team to call themselves the Dallas Cowboys. They're glorifying the oppressor! Obviously we cannot allow this to remain unchallenged. You say the name honors the pioneers of the western frontier, I say you celebrate genocide.

And the Philadelphia Eagles? Really? We're going to allow a sports team to trivialize the sacred bird of Native Americans? First Nations People consider eagles to be spiritual messengers between gods and humans and naming a football team after them is outright mockery.

A nice, progressive sports team
Giants, of course, is terribly insulting to the dozens of people who suffer from giantism across the planet. Does "Giants" honor people by the content of their character? I think not.

If we're going to rename the Redskins we need to rename the entire division. Better yet, let's drop this phony campaign altogether and step off my Redskins!

Please, people, if you want a professional sports team with a nice, feel-good, progressive name why don't you work to make the Portland Thinkers become a reality? Invest your thoughts and energies into something productive and stop bothering us with this silly campaign every few years.

Hail to the REDSKINS!